Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Letter to an adult daughter
written after reading what I thought was horrible advice form a man to his daughters.
I too am big on the randy pausch book and thinking of getting a "be a tigger" tatoo. But with the exception of being competent and kind to children, my daughter would be in deep trouble should she take the rest of the advice. think horse whipped.
Tims words to a daughter:
marry a man you love and consider your equal, your friend and your partner. To marry for comfort or money demeans you, my daughter, and implies that you are capable of achieving neither comfort or financial independence on your own. Should that be true, I have failed you as a father. Dress to please your self, but if you choose to dress sexy all the time, understand that some if not many men, will treat you as a sex object and never see who you are. I would suggest a stylish and classy manner of dress that while not deemphasizing your sexuality, allows the rest of you to show through as well. A real relationship will involve your mind and heart as well as your body. Trust me, any man worth his salt can still tell you are sexy without dressing the part. Personally your father finds blue jeans and a tee shirt on a smart woman just enjoying her self and her life about as sexy as it gets.
as an side, unless I marry again, your future husband will NOT have an attractive mother in law. sorry . thems the breaks. some of us age better than others.
your sexuality is YOURS. If you prefer direct then be direct. If not, dont. The man who loves you will not only respect your sexuality but probably help you develop it along with his. Under no circumstances act like gennifer flowers. Although many men may like the accompaniment of an occasional trashy slut, as she found out we dont keep them long.
Never , under any circumstances divorce, romance from the life affirming and practical matters of your life. Do not for one millisecond dismiss a single fraction of who you are or what you believe to get a damn man. I am one. Most of us are not worth that kind of sacrifice. One who is will not ask for it nor desire it.
Indeed judge all men by what they do and not what they say.all women too. dogs and cats as well for that matter
be yourself my daughter. In all things. You are a smart capable young woman who is also beautiful. Be who you want in all things. Live, as dagny taggert did, to your highest ideal and purpose. The man who belongs with my daughter will see all that and want to be a part of it, not in control of it.